Forcing yourself to do something because there are no other options is something that can visibly be seen by others in your level of interest or engagement in the actual tasks and interactions themselves. Being able to take responsibility for the hard decisions of having to cope with things when they aren’t exactly what you would like them to be is part of being resilient to the normal everyday challenges that the environment brings. Persisting through things that you find disinteresting because of small benefits is something that individuals with poor planning difficulties may struggle with. That recognition of the level of detail and complexity involved and the accompanying anger and who it is then being directed to is something that individuals need to learn over time so that they can understand the impact of their engagement style on other people. Feeling forced into something is not a positive experience to have. However, knowing this and then expressing that anger at others is unacceptable. Being angry about a situation is appropriate, communicating the issues about that anger may or may not be appropriate to communicate to a particular person, but making it the fault of the person / people engaging with you in that particular activity or environment(s) is unacceptable behaviour and needs to be reinforced as being inappropriate. Not knowing something is a life long skill to learn to deal with. Blaming others for not communicating this to you can be a form of blaming them for not protecting you. Looking at what the specific roles are at an individual level, environment level, relationship level and community level is important.
Managing the consequences of making repeated choices to punish others when you don’t know what to do or there appears to be no other solution can be highly visible to other people. The inflammation in the individuals behaviour and how they spend their time can be visible by the choices that they make in some settings which are inappropriate to be doing that type of behaviour but the individual has chosen to regulate themselves in that way. The personal developmental skills of individuals needs to be looked at to determine the impact and conversations with others about what is happening within that setting and across settings is important.
As upsetting or distressing as it can be to need to deal with things when you don’t know what you are going to do, taking the time to work out the plan is important. This process or period of time can be visible to others who may give you direct feedback about it. Knowing how to protect yourself when managing situations like this is important as others may attempt to provide you with greater feedback during the process of walking away or pulling yourself out of something that you don’t want to do anymore. Others may try to interrupt you and yet again others may be overhearing the conversations and offer feedback through other known sources.